As parents, we wish nothing but the best for our children. We find ourselves going to great lengths to give them the perfect, most comfortable childhood. This need to ‘construct’ a joyous childhood experience has reached another level with the introduction of social media. It almost feels like we’re being informed of how to raise kids in a mechanized manner to achieve the desired goals.
However, amid this information overload, we often skip the most important aspect of raising children, that is, every child is unique. This directly suggests that each child’s needs are also unique and we cannot have a pre-defined set of rules and regulations to effectively meet these needs. So now the question arises if there is no set formula to achieve the ultimate happy childhood experience for our kids, then how should we go about it?
Before diving into answering that, lets first look into what exactly do we mean by a happy childhood. Well, there’s no easy way to categorize a happy vs. an unhappy childhood into definite compartments. Happiness is relative. What makes you happy, won’t necessarily mean a lot to your kids. As the saying goes, what is normal for the spider, is chaos for the fly. This just means you have to learn, each passing day, what is best for your child, what works and what doesn’t work. You could call this a type of customization of parenting practices to fit into the specific requirements of the kids. This is why parenting is called a journey, wherein every day is a whole new adventure.
While we can’t describe a happy childhood in a fixed fashion, yet we can identify certain factors that contribute to the human experiences of happiness and peace. Just like adults, children want to express themselves freely, and not being able to do so can generate a lot of anxiety. Building a friendly, sympathetic environment around the kids, is thus very important to encourage them to speak up fearlessly and never be ashamed of who they are. To be able to let our guards down, and still be sure of our safety is such a luxury, isn’t it? The idea of living in a world like that is something we all secretly wish for. Imagine, how much does it mean to the little ones to experience this sense of freedom? As parents, we must start building a sure and safe foundation right from the get-go so that, as the kids grow up they are always confident enough to talk about anything and everything with us. Given the society we live in, nobody can protect their kids from the harsh contemporary realities. Hence, allowing and motivating the kids to discuss all that affects them is very important. We all need a family we can depend upon.
This is not to say that in the quest for this freedom, rules must be entirely disregarded. Rather it is a must to lay down specific rules and routines to instil a sense of discipline in the kids. They must be told all about the rules of the family but in a detailed manner. Just because you don’t expect the kids to answer back, doesn’t mean they aren’t questioning your rules in their minds.
On the contrary, you must ask them what makes them curious or doubtful about your familial regulations. Address these questions and if required, revise your rules and regulations according to your kids.
New parents must make it a point to take things easy, one day at a time, and not act out of panic in the process of encountering everyday hassles. Remember that little ones imitate their parents, thus you must act calmly around them so that they grow up learning how to effectively address problems, without getting nervous and impulsive about the minutest of inconveniences.
Familial unity and bonding are also very important in providing a healthy environment for the kids. Meaningful activities that contribute to such bonding, must be incorporated into daily routines. For starters, you may want to begin each day saying a prayer together as a family. This will help develop a sense of confidence and faith in kids which is necessary in times of difficulties. Ending the day, by having dinner together, followed by a nighttime prayer will also help the kids, by generating a sense of belongingness and peace.
Further, activities like annual vacations, weekend visits to grandparents, evening walks in the park, play dates with friends, and so on, are also known for keeping the kids active and aware of their surroundings, which is crucial in these developmental years. Self-exploration and self-discovery are quite significant in achieving this. An active child who is aware of his surroundings, family, and friends grows to understand the importance of relationships in life and is more grounded. This is sure to raise more content, and thus, a happy child.
Overall, a happy childhood isn’t the one which is bombarded with materials or the one that keeps the child in a bubble, as often projected in the media. Rather, it is created by continuous positive changes in the family and by giving enough room for discourse.
The best gift you can give to your children is to let them, and yourself grow, one step at a time.
