Being a mother and experiencing motherhood is one of the best thing that could happen to any woman. And you truly treasure it once you are a mom yourself. Small challenges make you stronger and the sleepless nights make you more strong willed to take care of your child and stand for them no matter what. It makes you patient, resilient, mature, understanding, a multi-tasker, crazy, angry, snapping, loud and all other good and bad things at the same time.
Sometimes I wonder, when I am angry at my child or scream at him, will it make a lasting impact on his memory. Will he grow up to remember me as a mom who made wise decisions for him or as a mom who punished and scolded him. Well, who knows, all you could do is the best for your child and be the crazy self that you are.
But while taking care of your child and your household, husband, in-laws, parents, and work, we generally get overwhelmed. Sometimes, a small situation that looked bad at the moment can spark a trigger of anger especially if it’s your child who has done it. But do they really deserve your wrath for this?
Do we first think and act? or do we first act and then think? Honestly, I mostly do the latter and then try to improve myself. Sometimes it works and sometimes It doesn’t. All this self realisation and trying to make yourself better for the little soul in your life is what parenting is all about. You learn everyday because everyday is different. Every situation teaches you something new and every situation needs to be tackled in a different way. Read, realise and try calming yourself down. I do 15 minutes of meditation everyday and it really helps me calm down. Sometimes, I choose to walk out of the situations that would make me a fire breathing dragon in front of my child. I also taught my child to do some breathing too to calm himself down. I do not talk for a bit or react when he’s angry and wait for him to bounce back.
What do you do when your child hits or bites? Tell him it hurts, let them feel that you are hurt and upset rather than scream. See if that works. Yelling will only make them angrier and make them do it all the more. Making them feel sorry and that what they did was wrong will make them not do it again. We want to raise emotionally intelligent children. They need to know and understand what they are doing is wrong. Giving a hug and saying mommas hurt to a child who hits is going to melt and calm them down and they won’t do it the next time.
Whether a child brings out the best or worst in you is in your hands and it completely depends on you how you tackle the situation. Well, of course, there are grandparents to pamper at the wrong time and make situations worse, but we need to find a way out in that too. Self-realisation is important to self heal and give our children a happy childhood. Yes, we need to handle all the tantrums and fights and anger but doing it calmly ensures the child follows your emotional way of dealing with things and does the same eventually.
