Parenting is an instinct, an emotion, a relationship. It cannot be strategized as per the light of the sun. Why is there so much importance given to night-time parenting and sleep training?
A doctor once told me when my older one was about 9 months old and breastfed to sleep — stop using sleep props, make them sleep in any other way than this. Some say to stop rocking, stop co-sleeping, stop lying there and waiting for them to sleep and then sneak out, stop comfort feeding. Make them sleep with nanny/help. Do these things work and children sleep better? I believe it’s all a money-making strategy. Whenever companies see a loophole and see people wanting to have an easy way out, they get some ways to do it and sleep training is such a loophole. No one talks about their experience at being good at it bit always at ways to stress the babies out and how it’s good for them. When it’s NOT.
I am the rebel girl who doesn’t listen to anyone, instead, I work it out my way, the way that my child and I would be happy and stick to it. When they say you should also think about your happiness it does mean think about yourself, but it also means to think about your child first and don’t forget to think about yourself too.
Have you ever watched a horror movie and went off to sleep? Do you need to sleep with lights on and your partner around you? Well, children have nightmares too and they get up and cry and sometimes also crawl out of bed and wake you up in your room at 3 am. These are sleep problems and patenting too. We prefer to be emotionally available to our child in the day, what about the night? Who can they look up too? Parents comfort especially of a mother is always special for a child. I remember I was 7 when I started sleeping alone and there were times I would shut my eyes and cover my face to fall off to sleep as I was afraid to sleep in the dark. When a 7-year-old can be anxious why can’t babies and toddlers be so too?
It’s so comforting to hear your mom say “it’s ok, go to sleep” even when you are an adult, imagine that for a child. My little one is 19 months old and yes he gets up in the middle of the night and sits up. The only thing I do is tell him — “sleep, Mummas there.” And he’s off to sleep within seconds.
It’s all right to co-sleep until your child wants to. My 4-year-old has told us a couple of times that he’s ok to sleep alone or with his brother but my husband has difficulty in partying ways with that. So we are living with it till both are okay with it. It’s all right to comfort feed if you are okay with it. It’s all right to breastfeed to sleep, it should last till you want it to. Breastfeeding releases melanin that eases the body and puts the children off to sleep fast. It’s all right to co-sleep, it’s got more advantages than disadvantages. Remember whom would they snuggle if you are not there at night. And who would they wake up looking at?
Studies show the first 5 mins of waking up is very important for a child as he bonds and trusts whoever is there in front of him in those 5 mins the maximum. Sleep training is a marketing gimmick and all you need to do is be there for your child even at night as you are in the day time. Be there for emotional needs, the physical needs, the mental needs. They anyways won’t need you at night after some time.
Be there for your child, make them feel emotionally secure and happy.
