Author – Nidhi Somani
“Nidhi Somani is a mother of 2 boys, a writer, an entrepreneur with MSc degree in Finance and Economics from the London School of Economics.”
It was the Diwali season. Season of late nights that turn to early mornings, it was the time to catch up with friends, family and just about anyone you even remotely know. It was the time for cards, board games or just aimless banter. But mainly it was the time of no sleep.
Usual Diwali week would mean just being on the go. This year though, it was different. And what’s even more different was the feeling I felt. I did not feel FOMO and was not joyful about missing all of this either, for the festivities will be back only next year. But what I felt was content. I felt comfortable where I was, with 2 diaper-wearing early risers. I was happy to rise with them rested and happy rather than cranky and drowsy.
The movie tickets that went waste and the many movies missed. The dinner reservations that had to be canceled or just the stepping out for coffee that took weeks to materialize. Feeling left out of conversations when catching up with friends, feeling at a loss about the world outside. That play, the concert, the truffle special at my favorite restaurant. A friend’s wedding, a besties bachelorette trip, the weekend getaway. The art festival, the poetry workshop, design thinking conference, and the carnival. The mother toddler program with my older son, the birthday he wanted me to go, the dinner date Friday. Sleep deprivation, lack of hours for things I like to do, in simpler words life as I knew it has ceased to exist but then again what’s emerging is beautiful.
I stare at the wall as I write this wondering if I will resent someday the choices I’m making today. Am I going to be angry someday about all these ‘sacrifices’?
It’s been 3 years since I had a day without wondering about a pregnancy, a feeding schedule, an insecure toddler or a newborn. In these three years, I have grown as a person but also lost myself. Today in the wee hours is a promise to find myself again in these little moments. To do things that make me happy in my time so there is no FOMO ever.